There was a time in my life not to long ago when I made several very large mistakes. I betrayed the trust of everyone around me, thinking that I knew best for myself. Turns out, I was wrong. While I thought I was happy, everyone I knew constantly berated me for my decisions.
When I came to admit my mistakes, none were as quick to forgive me as she was. She was perfect. She smiled when I cried, she tended to my every need and always made sure that I was okay. She helped me grow. I came to rely on her to be happy, as she was the only one who supported me with everything I did and didn’t do.
She then went on to make some very bad decisions. She betrayed my trust in the worst ways imaginable. Returning the favor, I made sure that I was the one that was quickest to forgive her. What’s in the past is in the past, and I know she would never make those mistakes again.
At this time, I really wish I could sit down with her and tell her that I miss her and that only when she is around is everything at its happiest. She is far away, both physically and mentally, and I am often left alone for days while she goes on with her life. I really miss her.
Then, when she returns, she wants to negotiate. She wants to tell me to stop relying on her; yet, when she needs something, she is so quick to return to me. And so the cycle continues. It is just everlasting negotiation. I wish that we could just settle down and stick to what makes us both the happiest.
Again, I wish that I could tell her this, but I know that nothing good would come of it. It will always be just everlasting negotiation.
If you’re reading this, I love you.